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A31Cefiro

Quick / Short joke thread

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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner

with her parents. Since this is

such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend

that after dinner, she would like to go out and make

love for the first time .

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to

the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first

time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about

condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy,

it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house

and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited

for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were

this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a

pharmacist."

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very very old joke :ph34r:

 

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

 

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

 

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

 

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?

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This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these

 

blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides

 

that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said....

 

to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

 

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint

 

a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband

 

leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

 

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of

 

paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor

 

in a pool of sweat.. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a

 

leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

 

She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted

 

to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do

 

it by painting the house.

 

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

 

To get to the other side!

 

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Downvote 8

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One of the lab teachers at uni has the name Howard Wang so his locker says H. Wang

some one added UGE on it LOL

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what did one dog say to the other dog???

 

 

 

 

AHHHHH!!!! A TALKING DOG!!!!!!

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during a long night out....

 

1st person - 'hey ask me if i'm a doctor"

 

2nd person - 'Are you a doctor?'

 

1st person - 'NO!'

 

very funny when your wrecked and do it 10 or 15 times over the night!! DO IT!!!

 

 

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haha, some funny ones out there... heres 1 i came up with

 

u know a mechanic has had a long day at work when he looks down in the shower and sees black water...

 

u know a hooker has had a long day at work when she looks down in the shower and sees white water...

 

:quagmire:

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Just been to JB HI FI looking for the game Grand Theft Auto. The sales assistant wanted me to describe it to her. I told her its about a black guy driving around with an iron bar, crashing cars, rooting whores and evading police. The stupid bitch gave me Tiger Woods PGA tour 2010.

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Little girl standing next to her dad, eating a muffin while her dad is getting a haircut at the local barber. Barber says "You'll get hair on your muffin"

Girl replies " yeh and ill get titts too one day u dirty perve"

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Just been to JB HI FI looking for the game Grand Theft Auto. The sales assistant wanted me to describe it to her. I told her its about a black guy driving around with an iron bar, crashing cars, rooting whores and evading police. The stupid bitch gave me Tiger Woods PGA tour 2010.

 

 

hahaha laugh.gif

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A Lickalotapuss

 

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Megasoreass

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Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel?

 

 

he tried to jump 50 blacks with a steamroller...

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

Because the road crossed it first.

 

 

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One day, after a game of squash, in the locker room, one guy noticed his mate had a cork stuck up his arse.

He said to his mate, "Wouldn't that be uncomfortable, like why wouldn't you just pull it out?"

His mate said back, "Nah it's stuck, it won't come out."

"How?"

"Well, one day I was walking along the beach, and I tripped over this bottle, and a genie came out. And the genie

said, I will grant you one wish. And I was like, NO SHIT!?"

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How many skaters does it take to change a lightglobe?

 

100...1 to change the lightglobe & another 99 to say... YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

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A guy goes to see a $10 hooker and ends up with crabs, the next day he goes back to her to complain, and she says to him, "what do you expect for $10, lobster?"

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We were almost colonised by the Dutch, as they arrived in the 1600s in a part of Western Australia where the desert meets the ocean.

 

They got off their ships and said, “This is ridiculous, we can’t grow marijuana crops here.”

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A bloke walked up to 2 nuns sitting on a bench in the street and pulls out his ***

 

one had a stroke and the other couldnt quite reach

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why did the 2 gay guys in the phonebox get arrested???

 

............. Cos they were "ringing" each other

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A blonde goes into Harvey Norman looking for curtains for her PC.... The assistant says to her "You dont need curtains for your computer!". She says "HELLO i've got f***ing windows!!!"

 

sleep.gif

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A guy walks into a bank and robs the place.

 

As he is leaving, he turns around to one guy and says, "Did you see anything?" The guy replies, "Yes". So the robber shot him.

 

He then turns around to another guy and asks the same question, "Did you see anything?"

 

Guy replies,"No, BUT MY WIFE DID!".

 

whistle.gif

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A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his bestfriend is a pussy and his owner beats him!

 

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